Tomorrow is my Moms birthday... She’ll be 52.. I looked at the calendar and I almost choked.. So while I look through flowers, I feel the need to share my mom ..
My mom is the youngest of 5 siblings.. 4 of which are still living.. She is the baby.. and the more I age the more I see where I exactly get my demeanor from.. Not her personality, but her ways … My mom is Sarcastic.. So sarcastic, you might take her seriously.. She’s not a kissy huggy mom… Well not with me she wasn’t.. However, with My sister she was… I think I was the wake-up call to adulthood for her… she was 19 when I was conceived.. 20 when I was born.. As a Grandmother she is very affectionate.. As a mother.. as my mother.. She wasn’t…She expected a lot.. I knew everything, and she let me think I did.. She allowed me to make mistakes, she got in my ass and reminded me of them daily… I see her when I look in the mirror now.. Especially when it comes to my relationship with my daughter…
I can’t help but think about our journey… My earliest memory of my mom was when I had chicken pox the second time around (had chicken pox twice… once when I was 2 and the other when I was 3 ½ and I also had a mild case of small pox when I was 9)... I remember my mom telling me not to touch my face..(which didn’t work) I remember running around with socks taped to my hands.. I was about 2 ½…
I remember my Oma (grandmother) more than my mom at that age… My Oma explained the world to me… She told me to smile at everyone, it makes people comfortable.. She taught me how to order bread at the bakery, how to tell the difference between meats at the butchers, and how to pee outside..lol…She let me set the table during Tea time… (FYI.. Right after lunch, and about 2 hours before dinner).. She let me make Crepes in the morning and mash the potatoes for dinner… She explained the reason people stared at us… and the reason she squeezed my hand so tight when we went in the city…She protected me… She is the reason why I am “sweet”. My childhood years in Germany and every Summer up until I was 14 helped to mold me into who I am… I think that’s why I identify with Barack so much… not because he’s Bi-Racial like me… but because he had a mother that wasn’t the same color as him.. and because his Grandmother molded him…
The majority of my memories with me and my mom were after we moved to the States… I wish I had her “take no shit” attitude… When people watched us, she spoke up… When black women frowned, she spoke up.. Anything I wanted to pursue.. She made it happen.. When I threw a fit the first day of 3rd grade when they made us fill out our nationality… She came to the school and told the Principle if she wants to mark both let her… It wasn’t until I was in the 6th grade that Other would be my choice… and that stands today… My Drivers License says Other… My Passport says other… and voters card says Other…Why Other??… (Blog For Another Day) When I wanted to Swim… She paid the outrageous fee’s… She was at every competition… Cheered the loudest when I won my heat… When I made the relay team She hugged me… I won my first real trophy.. They even did a story about me on the local news when I came back from nationals in Florida… My mom wouldn’t let them ask me how I felt being the only black swimmer at my competitions.. So the story was pretty much based around the Girls relay team win… I don’t know if it was because I was the only black swimmer on the team, or if it was to make sure no one wronged me… But she was always there…Or maybe she just felt comfortable around people who looked like her for 4 hours… When my Dad was laid off in 88 I had to quit the team… She couldn’t afford to pay $150 a week for swimming lessons… I took up basketball to replace swimming… It was free… my mom didn’t come to many of my games.. It wasn’t until I was in the news paper every week that she took interest.. She never understood the game… but I could tell she was kinda proud… Come to think of it… I have had many “15 minutes of fame” growing up…lol..
Anyway My mom is my hero… We share something… As an Adult I get her… I am more prone to hug on her when I come home… Say I love you before we hang up… We don’t call each other often.. I think about her every day… but in the “we share something” sense… I know she thinks about me too… I also know she is JUST like me or I am just like her..lol.. I can function with out hearing her.. seeing her… but lately I find myself calling a little more… She functions with out me.. My Aunt says it’s because she knows I can fend for myself… And if I ever need anything I don’t hesitate to ask… She knew that from when I was a child… How when I was young, I entertained myself… and when I needed mom, I would go to her… My daughter was the same way… She would play for hours alone… With her imaginary friends… Now not so much… She needs attention… When I am not home.. She tortures her dad… And when he’s not home she begs him to come home..lol..
My mom deserves to retire and just travel… but even if I hit the lottery and gave all the money to her.. she’d probably start another business and work again… As Grown woman I think I appreciate my mom more now then I did when I was younger.. And that’s a good thing… So I picked Lily’s and roses’… Just a lil something to make her smile…until I hit the big one…
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