Renewed

Standing in my desert alone ….once again

Tumble weed rolling I’ve embraced a cactus

Didn’t feel the pricks nor did I notice the blood

My neck was out stretched high to the sky

Eyes tightly closed slight flare in my nose

Suns kissing me hard as my walk slows

Reciting Psalms as my mouth grows dry

Sense storm is coming but I don’t know why

Winds picking up, but I don’t budge

I got a grip on a cactus… by the name of Love

Birth name mirage pronounced my rage

Defined easily as fabrication that seems to be a new craze

lies so complicated my heads a maze

I exhale as memories replay

Can’t breathe in... this bullshit.. again

So I suffocate myself as the count down begins

C-H-A-N-G-E…

I refuse to struggle it’s ok if you win

Add my name to your breed

Include the picture called naïve

Tattooed your initials on my tongue

I’ll speak well of you though your image has become….. hollow

Remembering the taste of heartache every time I swallow

I’m use to the flavor the aroma is inflamed

Your submission of hurt coincide with my pain

Drip...on my cheek drop... on my chin

Slowly awake in a river of tears

My navigation is off nothing looks familiar

This compass I call life has mislead me again

Standing in my desert alone… overlooking a new land

Tumble weed rolling I look down at my hands

Scars, scabs, jagged cuts and wounds that have slowly sealed

Once again tainted once again healed…..

~Mocha

Remember when I just wrote words...

With my arms outstretched openly awaiting this new seasons sun I embrace fresh starts even though their entangled by memories of old burns flaking hurts that reveal permanent freckles got my face looking like midnight sky’s after comets tail leaves a trail across my eyes can't wait for that first Spring breeze makes my body bend like blades of grass after morning dew sprinkles across my neck and down my ass Winters worn out it's stay got me burned out with layer after layer of past thoughts ready to dip my knees in realistic ponds skinny dipping with new eyes that promise new thangs new lives new train of thoughts new beginnings for this withered rose whose been up rooted and replanted so many times fertilized by lie after lie no matter who waters my soul still ends up being left thirsty and cold untold is my story of numerous new beginnings same book different chapter new character same attitude which moves me to reason without a doubt that new beginning your talking about is just a trim of what’s to come along with bullshit that will make the newest treat turn a trick without a lick of enthusiasm bored into spasms unwilling to refrain or restrain the lack of interest looking to start over even though my chapter never finished the conclusion never came never got to summarize the possibilities with a picture in the index instead I skipped all over the main topic got everyone questioning my logic got people all in my mix reading my this new project wondering what’s next It's just like that hit change clothes even though that same styles on a different hoe not knowing what the hype is about not feeling the same beat you're rocking out seems as if your off beat off rhythm and what not....

Just words...

Why is marriage so complicated?

Get that old thang back

It seems like the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012 was the straw that broke the camels back for some couples.. I heard more “we’re getting divorced” stories than I’ve ever heard in my life. Funny thing is when people go through ups and downs you tend to look at your own marriage. For me its a time to be thankful for what I have and also fine tune some things that may have been unattended. Life has it’s way of moving you along. You dont realize things happen until it gets brought to your attention. When it does and its something that you have neglected its had to take ownership. Replenish the lingerie draw, invest in matching underwear, and stop pulling your hair back. May sound simple enough, but trust me once you get into a habit it’s hard to break it.

Marriage is what you make of it

I use to say if you’re unhappy fix it. Communicate. What do you do if you’ve communicated your issues for years and nothing changed? At some point choices have to be made and ties have to be cut. For some people divorce is the only option. When you no longer love the person you are with, if you are doing that person more harm than good, or if your future isn’t part of your partners story than its time. Some people benefit from divorce. I know my husband did. I knew him before he divorced and after. I can honestly say divorce was the best thing that happened to him. I wont take any credit for his happiness. Some people just dont belong together. If you can’t look at your spouse and see yourself with them in 20 or 30 years, if you can’t imagine the two of you shuffling off to IHOP for the senior special. You definitely need to re-evaluate your life and the persons life you are holding hostage.

~Mocha